I was honored to be a "community responder" for the Rep's production of "Every Brilliant Thing." The play presents a son's story about his mother's depression. It's a one person play which uses audience members to represent major characters in the storyline: the character's father, school counselor, vet. It is striking that although the play is "about" the mother, she is not included. No one steps forward to play the role of the mother. No one speaks to the inner experience of the mother. The son creates a list of "Every Brilliant Thing," a way to counter the heaviness of the depression. In my response, I stepped into the role of the mother, reading from my own journal a list, not of brilliant things but of devastating worries. Mothers matter.
When someone births and that birth is difficult or traumatic, a common platitude "Well. You've got a healthy baby. That's all that matters." is issued from family, strangers, the birthing person, the birthing person's partner, the care team. This sentiment is so ubiquitous, often the person who gave birth is all but erased from the meaning-making of the event, not unlike the absence of the mother in "Every Brilliant Thing."
As a doula, I speak to the violence I have witnessed in the birth world. The majority of the births I have witnessed have included, at least, egregious lack of consent, and at most, full assault. They aren't called that because they're "medical procedures." This is not just my experience, this is a situation doulas know from experiencing it over and over and over. If you were violated, disrespected and/or unheard in your birth experience, I hear you. Your story matters. It's not ok. It needs to change NOW.
Please visit the Exposing the Violence Project to share your story.
